All is Death in Love and War
by Im The Monsters Under Your Bed
Summary: Nico is caught up in the midst of a prank war. On top of that, he's starting to have girl problems. R&R all is accepted!
1. Standards

**By resquest I'm writing a story about Nico.**

**It's kinda a romance and kinda sorta some other stuff. I haven't decided yet.**

**Screw it if Nico sounds like a girl. I am a girl. Don't get your panties in a bunch.**

**This takes place after TLO. Nico is 14.**

* * *

I've seen it all.

My family die- check

Full-scale invasion of New York- check

Full-scale _war_ in New York- check

Nice hell hound - check

Someone bathing in the styx- check

Gods argue over cereal- check

Ghosts- check (yes I see dead people)

Full-on prank war at camp- check (in progress)

Like I said, I've seen it all. The fact is, despite all the hate, confusion, dead people, and the current war, I have a good life.

Even at camp half-blood. This place isn't really my first choice of awesome. It's kinda just too... happy. Not that I'm emo or anything. In fact I hate that word with my whole being. There is just not a word for how much I hate it when people call me that!

But I have some friends. Well, if you want to call them my friends. They're my friends for the strangest reasons. Let me tell you why.

Aaron (son of Hermes), my right-hand man, is my friend because he broke my arm. And that is exactly why I call him my right hand man.

He broke my arm in the stupidest of ways.

I was walking out of my cabin when I noticed a clear line glinting across my door frame. I thought it was a spider web and was about to swap it away, when I realized something: This was probably a prank by one of the campers. You would think they'd be afraid to prank my cabin; my fortress of death. But sadly I've been pranked before.

I left my door open and took a step backwards. I decided to just climb through my window to get out, instead of waste my time with it. I opened the window and stuck my leg out. I shifted my weight and reached for the ground with my foot, but instead I touched something squishy.

"AH!" shouted someone below my window sill. Startled, I lost my balance and fell through the open window landing on my arm.

Dionysus was so mad that he had broken my arm that he made Aaron stick by my side, and every time I needed to use my right arm he had to do it for me. That wasn't really a win for anybody

Daniel, my... left-hand man, is a completely different story. Daniel is a son of Apollo. He's one of the most non-clumsy people to walk the earth. Lucky him, 'cause I have to be his complete opposite.

As you may or may not know, most people like eating candy. If you assumed that _didn't_ like candy, I'm sorry you are wrong try again. If candy were a person, I would then _finally_ admit to being emo, because If candy were a person I would marry it, love it forever, and then eat it. Then I would have to be depressed for my love being gone, so I would be _emo._

And again: I love candy. I love it so much that I tried stealing some from Daniel.

I crept toward him slowly from behind, hiding in the shadows (because I do that pretty well). I gripped a rope in my hand, ready to make a move.

I slung the rope and pulled it around Daniel's neck. The point wasn't to kill him; only to stun him long enough to take his bag of gummy worms.

But unfortunately for me, Daniel caught on quickly. He made a fake gagging sound and clutched his neck, collapsing to his knees. I lost my footing and tripped over him, landing on my face with Daniel under me.

He quickly wriggled his way from underneath me but I scrambled around and took hold of his bag. I leaped to my feet and drew my sword. I pointed it just under his jaw as if to stab him at any moment, but he just regaurded me wearlily and gave me a look to say_ 'Really'?_

"Just walk away and nobody gets hurt." I warned trying not to smile. I'm great at keeping a straight face but this time I failed horribly.

"Just give me my candy back and nobody gets hurt." He replied. He took out his bow and notched an arrow. Ooookay.

I turned on my heels and ran for the hills. Literally. Seriously there are hills everywhere in camp half-blood!

But what do I end up doing? I trip over something and fall on my face. _Again. _For the second time today. Why am I such a klutz?

Anyways I ate some dirt, got laughed at, and in the end got shot with an arrow. The arrow's tip was covered in wax; as not to kill me but it still left a big bruise on my back. Afterward Daniel apologized and gave me some candy.

Win one for Nico!

And lastley there is Harper. Harper is the wierdest person in the entire world. His mother is the goddess Aphrodite. For those of you that don't know: **YES** Aphrodite has male children!

Every girl at camp is completely in love with him for one reason or another. He's smart, charming I guess, and I admit he is REALLY good looking. That makes every guy at camp jealous of him. But how could you be jealous of the guy. His Mom is freaking Aphrodite! Its genetics!

Anyways Harper was a victim in the battle of dog food. No, I didn't stutter: dog food.

Do you remember Mrs. O'Leary? Do you remember that she's about the size of a garbage truck? Well I bet you didn't know that with a big dog, comes a great big pantry full of Purina-One Hell Hound Food.

It all started one morning after breakfast. Half of the Hermes cabin was gone during breakfast, so there was no one making fart noises and throwing things. On a normal occasion this would be a good thing but let me remind you that we are in the middle of a war here! Half of a cabin missing either means something went really wrong with the whoopy coushins or you are going to have a very bad day.

My first class after breakfast is archery. I have archery with Percy and Harper. Percy, like me, completely blows at the entire subject. Harper on the other hand is more into standing on the side looking cool with his sunglasses and white smile. That loser didn't know what he was in for.

The entire plan was genius. Hughie, from the Hermes cabin, came running to the class yelling and screaming "The brown coats are coming! The brown coats are coming!" And ran right in front of Wyatt and Aaron (His brothers) as they fired thier arrows. Hughie went down with two arrows sticking out of him.

"Oh my gods!" said Percy. He dropped his bow and ran to assist the downed kid. When he was about 5 feet in front of him the first bomb went off.

_PEEWHH! _

A rocket shot up and exploded, sending lumps of slimy brown stuff everywhere. Percy got hit in the face and fell backwards landing on his back

But the rest of the campers were already too close. Some got hit with the stuff and some screamed and ran, setting off more mines hidden in the dirt.

_PEWH! PEWH! PEWHH! _

It was everywhere. Landing in big clumps and making some people barf.

I wasn't close enough to the bombs to get hit by any of it, but I was still effected by the smell. If you've never smelled wet dog food before, consider yourself a ver lucky person. I turned to run but found myself face-to-face with three kids covered from head to toe in brown. They looked like chocolate ninjas!

Each kid held a sling shot armed with a water balloon.

"I don't want any trouble you guys," I said cautiously taking a step away, "I'm just going to walk away and pretend none of this happened,"

I was about to turn around but one took off his mask (turned out Hughie was oaky after all) and yelled, "There will be no survivors at the battle of dog food!" And then they fired. I can't really tell you what was in those water balloons. It was too thick to be water, but it was clearly not dog food.

It hit the back of my head and I started running around like a chicken with its tail on fire. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something coming toward me, so I stopped. Harper, covered in wet dog food, was slipping toward me on one foot.

"No, no, come on dude, no-" He slammed into me and I too got coated in wet dog food.

Afterwards in the infirmary we became friends. We were the ones with less injuries than the others, so our bunks were together. And we both laughed at Percy when he had to wear ladies perfume for a week to hide the dog food smell.

You know what I just realized? Friends are painful. I got hurt three times and now I have three best friends. Is that normal?

* * *

Right now I'm in my cabin. I got sucked into writing poems. I keep it to myself, but I'm afraid someone might read it one day. That would suck. How am I supposed to keep my name 'King of Ghosts' and have people fear me, if they see me writing poetry?

Its not like they're _girlie _poems about unicorns and rainbows or anything. They have more meaning to them than that. I'm writing them for these girls. Yep, Girls.

They're twins. Thier mother is Nyx, goddess of night. They blend into shadows just as well as I do. One's name is Cierra and the other's is Anastasia. Cierra has cold silvery eyes like the winter moon. Anastasia has warmer golden eyes like the fall moon. Both of them have pitch black hair and tanned skin.

They are my age. They have thier own cabin and sit with eachother in the dining pavillion, hardly saying a word to anyone else. But they have very different personalities. Anastasia is a cheerful person despite the fact that she loves dark colours. Cierra is more serious. She is talented in giving people evil stares.

They snuck into my cabin once because they heard about how I could make skeleton animals. Yeah, the power was pretty cool but it doesn't mean you can sneak into a kids cabin and force him to do stuff for you!

To thier surprise I wasn't there, but they found something better. As soon as I came back into my cabin from doing... whatever it was that I was doing, they ambushed me.

"I didn't know you liked poetry!" gushed Anastasia as Cierra held me to the wall. I pushed Cierra over, shut the door and covered Anastasia's mouth as fast as I could.

"I didn't know you could be so loud!" I told her. "Get out of my cabin! It's my, uh, friends."

Cierra held up the paper and showed me the signature at the bottom. I had written Nick instead of Nico. "There's no Nick DiAngelo at camp." She said

"He's my cousin." I lied.

"Yeah right. We know its you," She smiled. It was the first time I'd ever see her smile and it was dazzling.

"I really liked it." Anastasia put in. She batted her eyelashes like girls do when they're flirting. Definately wierd.

"Well... really?" I never showed anyone the poem, so I never had any actual feedback.

"Yeah its pretty good." Cierra said, "But, whats up with the rose? Couldn't you have used any other analogy?"

I blushed, "Well roses were the first thing to come to mind..." Wait why am I talking about poetry at 3am? "Um I'm pretty tired and I want to get some sleep so if you don't mind..."

"Yeah sure no problem." They left casually, leaving the door open and me standing there like an idiot.

I picked up my poem and read it,

_Death like a whisper  
__It sings you songs of horror  
lovely like a rose._

Apperently I've been spending a little _too _much time with Apollo lately. Why do girls gush about small things like that anyways? It was only a ...2 ...3 ...4 ... 14 word poem.

The next day I asked them why the Hades they were in my cabin to begin with, and it was all cleared up. Sorta. They wanted me to keep writing poems for them. I tried explaining to them that I didn't write poems; it was just that one. But they didn't believe me. They told me I had great potential and I really needed to keep writing.

Do you know why I wrote that poem? Persephone, my step mother. As much as she hates my guts she told me to write a poem for my father as a Fathers day gift. How stupid is that? Why would the god of death read my poems? But now I'm stuck writing them.

Ugh I could just hear her laughing at me now. But on the bright side I now have two potential girlfriends. But don't tell them I said that. They scare me. Anastasia is just really cooky. I wouldn't want to be around her when she's on a sugar high. And Cierra is just too quiet. I myself am quiet, but I like laughing and joking around just like any other kid.

You know, I don't live up to my own standards!

* * *

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	2. Really?

"So you got a date?" Aaron asked in disbelief, "The emo kid that stands in dark corners has a date? And I don't?"

"It isn't a date." I said

"Then what is it?" Aaron

_**Earlier that day…**_

"Hey Nico." Cierra chimed gleefully.

"Hey, wazzup?" I asked leaning in the shadows against my cabin with some shades on.

"Hi Nico!" Anastasia piped

"Hi..."

"So... How was your day?" Cierra asked batting her eyelashes

"Just fine cherry pie how was yours?"

"Fantastical!" She sang and walked away.

"So Nico," Anastasia leaned her shoulder against the cabin and twirled her hair with her finger. "Are you doing anything later?"

"Maybe. Why?" I said, cooler than ever.

"Do you want to meet me at the canoe lake? 11 O'clock sharp."

"Whatever." I said

"Eee!" She squealed with delight and skipped off.

* * *

"Its not a date," I said

"Sounds like a date to me." Said Harper, taking sudden interest in our conversation.

"Will you guys shut up before you make me lose!" Daniel said frustrated and intent with the video game.

We were in my cabin. I'm one of the few who have a secret buddy who sneaks you in good stuff. For a price of course, but it all pays off.

That isn't exactly how it went earlier with Anastasia and Cierra...

**_What really happened..._**

"You have bad spelling." Said Cierra as she read my paper. I wrote an actual poem this time, not just some three-lined garble.

"You spell like that too," Anastasia chimed. She was playing with my hair. lifted it up, then placed up down, then she ruffled it up, and fixed it back to the way it was. Then she got a marker and tried to colour my black hair pink.

"Hey stop that!" I said. Not that it would work in the first place. She was just getting on my nerves.

Cierra glared at her with silverey eyes, "Do you spell again '_a-g-e-n'_? I don't."

I grunted in frustration, "What does it matter?"

"It matters plenty."

"How?"

She rolled her eyes, "Do you want to learn how to write good poetry or not?"

"Not really…"

"Fine then! leave!" she pointed out her cabin door.

I sighed and shuffled out the door but Anastasia called "Nico wait!"

I turned around. "What."

"I-" she stopped and took an interest in her shoes, "Meet me at the canoe lake at 11 O'clock." Then she walked back into her cabin and shut the door.

_That's not what I told anyone though..._

* * *

"_Anastasia?_ Ha! You have a date with an emo chick!" Aaron teased

"It's NOT a date!" I growled

"Shut Up!" Daniel yelled

"I'm gonna _kill you_!" Harper said swinging his controller to the left and right

"Well are you going alone?" Aaron poked at me

"You." Harper said

"Well yeah," Duh.

"Are." Harper said

"Is _she _going alone?" Aaron asked

"Dead." Harper said

"I don't know-"

"Then it's a date!"

"MEAT!" Harper shouted.

"NOT. A. DATE!" I lunged at him and sent him flying into Daniel.

_Shing!_ The orange-armored guy in the video game was decapitated.

_Game Over! You Lose!_

"ARRG!" Shouted Daniel. He lept to his feet and shouted through grinding teeth: "You-guys-are-SO-dead!"

And with that, the two little piggies Aaron and Harper cried _wee-wee-wee_ all the way home.

That left me standing alone in my cabin with an angry demigod. "Dude, Daniel." I warned "Seriously, get out of my cabin." When Daniel got mad, things tended to get hot. _R__eally_ hot. Like things start _melting_ hot. I guess you can't blame him if his dad is the sun god.

"So… dead…" He boiled. The carpet around his feet began to smolder. I backed up and turned to bolt out of the door but it slammed shut.

Daniel's eyes began glowing dangerously bright, like miniature suns.

"Come on man. We can work this out." I had to think fast before I turned into a puddle of Nico. The air was becoming hot and humid and I began to began rolling off of my clothes.

"Aww, is poor little Nico afraid of the sun? I always thought you were a little pale." He grinned a wicked grin that creeped the socks off of me.

I looked around me. There was nothing in reach for me to distract him with. I was toast! Burnt Toast!

Then I spotted the perfect distraction, just poking out from under my bed.

"Ah!" I cried as I dove for it. Daniel dove too, nearly singing my arm hair off with a swing of his arm. I barely made it, but I managed to grab it. I pressed the button and threw it at him.

"_Dance with Elmo!" S_ang a high-pitched voice.

Daniel stood in blank confusion as we watched a furry thing wiggle around on the floor with music blasting from its butt. "Is that a..."

It was a Dance With Me-Chicken Dancing Elmo. Elmo, in a yellow chicken costume, was doing a cross between the worm and the chicken dance on the floor.

I giggled. Then I broke out into a mad laughter. I can't help it. He just got hit in the face with a chicken! But I forgot my plan was to run. He snapped out of his stun and confusion and made a grab for my neck.

Ha, lucky me I have quick reflexes. I reached my hand out and slapped his face.

_Slap! _He looked utterly devistated with a red hand mark on his cheek.

I bolted out the door faster than you can say mississippi without the s'es. I ran out and looked around. Where should I go? The big house? No he'll find me there. Stables? No, it smells like horse droppings. The beach? Nope, I'm not good with water... Wait, that's it!

I ran to Percy's cabin and knocked on the door. "Percy? You in there? Come on, open up!" I knocked and knocked and knocked. I heard frantic shuffling from the other side.

Finally he opened the door, "Nico! What do you want? I'm busy."

"Not any more you're not!" I ran inside and shut the door.

Annabeth was laying on the bed on her stomach with her pony tail messy . "Hey Nico." She said. I could hear irritation in her voice.

"Oh I guess you are busy." I mummbled

Percy, who didn't have a shirt on, walked to the bed and sat down next to her. While he put his shirt on he asked me, "Would you care to explain?"

I cocked my head to the side and wondered what he meant. Then I realized what he was talking about with a quick slap to my forehead and an 'Oh'. "I'm hiding, so shut up and don't answer the door." I said glancing out of the window.

"Ah, I see." He said clearly not paying attention anymore. He turned slightly and reached out to Annabeth. He started tickling her in the ribs.

"Percy stop!" She laughed,

"Uh-uh," He said. "You owe me."

"No, please stop! Seriously stop!" He was laughing like a moron. "Oh, I'm gonna dump you in the lava pit!"

"Can't. I'm immune," He reminded her playfully

"Oh NOOOOOOOOO!" she laughed uncontrollably

I tried not to pay them any mind, but Annabeth's laugh was kinda cute. Dammit, did I just think that? I pulled my hood over my head and put my head-phones in to drown them out with some music.

I spaced out for at least 10 minutes, then suddenly I heard a _BONK!_

I stood up, "What was that?" Annabeth lied unconcious in Percy's arms. Percy looked like he was about to flip out.

"I was just- and then she- but she-" Thunder boomed overhead

Almost simultaneously there was a knocking at the door. Percy layed Annabeth safely on the bed and rushed to the door.

"Have you seen Nico?" Daniel's voice rang in.

"No. You're a medic right? You've got to help me!" Percy grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to the bed where Annabeth was.

I slinked into the shadows and was going to make a run for the door when a woman's angry voice said "_PERSEUS JACKSON!"_

Uh-oh! God alert! _Angry _god alert! Time to leave! I shadow traveled out.

* * *

**I decided to add some random Percabth to this xD What do you think? Not as good as the last chapter? BETTER than the last chapter? People feedback please! And thank you for all of the great reviews I've gotten so far!  
~The Monster Under Your Bed **


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